Don't tell your friends about your indigestions: "How are you!" is a greeting, not a question.

Arthur Guiterman (1871–1943) was an American poet and humorist known for light verse and epigrammatic social observations published widely in magazines and later collected in books. This quip fits the early-20th-century Anglo-American tradition of drawing-room wit that gently polices conversational etiquette—especially the expectation that casual greetings remain formulaic rather than invitations to intimate disclosure. The line is often repeated in advice contexts (manners, small talk, workplace civility) as a humorous reminder that everyday pleasantries are social lubricants, not requests for medical or personal reports.

The joke turns on the gap between literal meaning and social function. “How are you?” grammatically looks like a question, but in most everyday settings it operates as a ritual greeting whose purpose is to acknowledge the other person and signal friendliness. By choosing “indigestions” as the example, Guiterman highlights the awkwardness of oversharing bodily details in polite company. The epigram suggests a broader principle: successful social interaction depends on reading conventions and responding proportionately—saving genuine self-disclosure for relationships and moments where it is actually invited.