Early on I saw the repression and idolatry of Stalinism, and when it cracked, I was open to religion again.

Blue is describing a personal ideological arc: an early attraction to, or proximity with, left-wing politics that later revealed itself as coercive and quasi-religious in its demands for loyalty. By calling Stalinism “repression and idolatry,” he frames it as both politically violent and spiritually substitutive—an attempt to replace genuine faith with worship of a leader and a system. The phrase “when it cracked” suggests the moment when the myth of Stalinist infallibility collapsed (whether through historical revelations or personal disillusionment), leaving space for a renewed openness to religion. The quote highlights how political absolutism can mimic religious structures—and how its failure can prompt a return to spiritual seeking.