If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.

Fields’s gag parodies the earnest Victorian maxim “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again,” flipping it into a piece of comic fatalism. The first sentence mimics the cadence of moral instruction, but the abrupt “Then quit” punctures the ideal of perseverance with a showman’s cynicism. The punchline—“No use being a damn fool about it”—adds a hard-edged, streetwise pragmatism: persistence can become self-delusion when evidence suggests the effort is futile. The humor depends on timing and reversal, but it also captures a modern skepticism about inspirational platitudes and the value of knowing when to stop.

1) “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no use being a damn fool about it.”
2) “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a fool about it.”