I go up and down the scale so often that if they ever perform an autopsy on me they'll find me like a strip of bacon — a streak of lean and a streak of fat.

Guinan uses a comic, bodily metaphor to describe rapid fluctuations in weight—“up and down the scale”—and turns anxiety about appearance into a vaudeville-style punchline. The imagined autopsy exaggerates the stakes for humor, while the “strip of bacon” image (alternating lean and fat) captures the sense of being made up of contradictory phases. In a broader sense, the quip fits Guinan’s public persona as a hard-edged, wisecracking entertainer: it converts private self-scrutiny into performance, suggesting resilience and self-mockery as tools for navigating social expectations about women’s bodies and glamour.