The only gracious way to accept an insult is to ignore it; if you can't ignore it, top it; if you can't top it, laugh at it; if you can't laugh at it, it's probably deserved.

Lynes frames insult-handling as a ladder of social poise. The first and “most gracious” response is non-engagement: refusing to grant the insult attention or status. If that fails, he recommends regaining control through superiority (“top it”)—outdoing the insult with wit, achievement, or a sharper retort. If one cannot outdo it, humor becomes a release valve: laughing at the insult dissolves its power and signals emotional independence. The final clause is a bracing moral check: if you cannot detach, outwit, or laugh, the insult may have struck a true weakness. The aphorism thus links etiquette, self-mastery, and self-knowledge.