Being happily and successfully married is generally not so much a matter of marrying the right person as it is being the right person.

The saying shifts the emphasis in marriage from finding an ideal spouse to cultivating personal character. It suggests that lasting marital happiness depends less on “compatibility” as a fixed trait and more on the daily practice of virtues—patience, fidelity, humility, and self-discipline—that make one a dependable partner. In this view, marriage is not primarily a consumer choice (“the right person” as a product to select) but a moral and spiritual commitment that requires ongoing self-improvement. The quote also implies agency: individuals can influence the quality of their marriage by becoming emotionally mature and ethically consistent, rather than attributing success or failure chiefly to the spouse’s qualities.