Look, if you ask a child, ’Would you rather have a fulfilled mother or a stay-at-home Sylvia Plath ’ they’ll pick Sylvia Plath every time. But I think it’s really important that children don’t feel their parents’ emotional lives depend on their success.

Waldman contrasts two parental ideals: the self-sacrificing, ever-present parent and the emotionally healthy, self-fulfilled adult. By invoking Sylvia Plath—often mythologized as a brilliant but tormented mother—she underscores how children can be drawn to intense, all-consuming attention even when it is psychologically costly. The second sentence reframes “good parenting” as emotional boundaries: a child should not feel responsible for a parent’s happiness, stability, or sense of purpose. The quote argues that parental martyrdom can burden children with guilt and pressure, whereas a parent with an independent emotional life models resilience and reduces the risk of children equating achievement with keeping a parent afloat.