While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.

The line plays on the familiar proverb “money can’t buy happiness,” twisting it into a darker, comic realism. It suggests that wealth does not eliminate suffering or guarantee contentment, but it does expand one’s agency: with resources, you can avoid certain hardships and instead confront different, often more self-chosen problems. The humor comes from puncturing the sentimental promise that happiness is purchasable while still acknowledging money’s practical power. Attributed to Groucho Marx, the quip fits his persona—skeptical, worldly, and adept at turning moral platitudes into punchlines about human dissatisfaction.