One rarely falls in love without being as much attracted to what is interestingly wrong with someone as what is objectively healthy.

De Botton is pointing to the psychologically mixed nature of romantic attraction: we are often drawn not only to a partner’s strengths and stability but also to their distinctive wounds, quirks, or “broken” patterns—especially when these resonate with our own history. The line suggests that love is rarely a purely rational choice for health and compatibility; it can involve an unconscious pull toward familiar forms of difficulty that feel meaningful, exciting, or reparative. The quote’s significance lies in its demystifying of romance: it reframes “chemistry” as partly an attraction to dysfunction, inviting readers to examine what they find compelling and why, and to distinguish genuine care from repetition of old emotional scripts.