If our sex life were determined by our first youthful experiments, most of the world would be doomed to celibacy. In no area of human experience are human beings more convinced that something better can be had only if they persevere.

The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty.

After coitus every animal is sad.

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

Women fall in love on the date, and men fall in love after the date.