Take the tone of the company that you are in.

This maxim is associated with Lord Chesterfield’s long series of private letters (1730s–1760s) to his illegitimate son, Philip Stanhope, written to coach him in the social arts needed for diplomacy and public life. Chesterfield repeatedly urges his son to cultivate “good breeding”: ease, tact, and the ability to adapt one’s manner to different circles without giving offense. The advice reflects the highly stratified, reputation-conscious world of eighteenth-century British and European elite society, where advancement depended as much on conversational tone and comportment as on talent. The line is typically quoted as a distilled rule of social adaptability drawn from those letters.

“Take the tone of the company that you are in” recommends social attunement: listen first, register the prevailing mood and level of formality, and then match it. For Chesterfield, this is not mere mimicry but a practical form of politeness—an avoidance of discord caused by being too solemn among the playful, too familiar among the dignified, or too sharp among the sensitive. The maxim also implies a strategic view of sociability: one’s success depends on reading people and situations and adjusting one’s self-presentation accordingly. Modern readers may see both its usefulness (empathy, tact) and its potential cost (over-accommodation or loss of authenticity).