If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders.

Abigail Van Buren was the pen name of Pauline Phillips, the longtime American advice columnist behind “Dear Abby,” syndicated nationally from the mid-1950s onward. The remark reflects a recurring theme in her parenting and family counsel: that children develop humility, competence, and self-discipline when adults entrust them with age-appropriate duties rather than indulging them. While the line is widely circulated in quotation collections under her name, it is typically presented without the surrounding letter-and-response context that would pin down a precise date or column installment. It nevertheless aligns closely with Phillips’s public persona as a practical, no-nonsense advocate of responsibility in everyday family life.

The aphorism argues that “keeping their feet on the ground” (staying humble, realistic, and well-adjusted) is less a matter of lecturing children and more a matter of giving them real obligations. Responsibility functions as a counterweight to entitlement: when a child must contribute—chores, commitments, caring for others, following through—they experience consequences, limits, and the satisfaction of competence. The image of “shoulders” suggests both burden and strength: duties may feel heavy, but they build character and resilience. Implicitly, the quote critiques overprotection and excessive praise, proposing that grounded confidence comes from doing, not being told one is special.