I want to get a tattoo of myself on my entire body, only two inches taller.

Steven Wright is known for deadpan, one-line surrealism delivered in stand-up settings, where the humor comes from treating an absurd premise as a practical desire. This line circulates widely as one of his stage jokes from his comedy routines (often quoted in lists of Wright one-liners) rather than as a statement tied to a particular interview or event. The imagined scenario—tattooing a full-body self-portrait that is slightly “improved” by being two inches taller—fits Wright’s persona of calmly proposing impossible or illogical projects as if they were ordinary self-help or lifestyle choices.

The humor comes from a paradoxical blend of vanity and futility. Wanting a tattoo “of myself” suggests self-obsession, but making it cover the “entire body” turns the body into a canvas that would be overwritten by its own image. The detail “only two inches taller” adds a mock-aspirational edge—an attempt at self-improvement that is purely representational rather than real. In Wright’s style, the line also satirizes how people chase idealized versions of themselves: instead of changing one’s life, one changes the picture of oneself, and even that change is comically minor.