My wife works at an animal rescue place. So at home we now have a dog with two anuses and a half a dachshund.

Delivered as a deadpan, grotesque exaggeration, the line uses shock humor to turn a wholesome premise—spouse works at an animal rescue—into an absurd domestic consequence. Stewart’s joke hinges on incongruity: “rescue” implies care and rehabilitation, but the animals described are comically impossible or disturbingly injured (“two anuses,” “half a dachshund”). The humor comes from escalating specificity and the casual “so,” as if such outcomes were routine. Beneath the gag is a satirical nod to how compassion can lead to chaotic, unintended burdens at home, and how people rationalize extreme situations with everyday language.