I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said ’Happy Birthday’ on it. I didn’t want to waste it so I just wrote ’Jesus’ on it.

With mirth and laughter let old wrinkles come.

In childhood, we yearn to be grown-ups. In old age, we yearn to be kids. It just seems that all would be wonderful if we didn't have to celebrate our birthdays in chronological order.

I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing ’Happy Birthday.’

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.