Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And it took a seven to do that.

Jim Murray (1919–1998), the celebrated Los Angeles Times sports columnist, was also known for comic one-liners about golf—especially about the futility of difficult clubs. This quip belongs to the long tradition of golfers joking that a 1‑iron is nearly unusable for ordinary play. Murray’s line exaggerates that reputation by claiming the only occasion he ever “took out” a 1‑iron was for pest control, and even then it failed—requiring a 7‑iron instead. The humor fits Murray’s persona: a writer who mixed sports knowledge with punchy, self-deprecating exaggeration aimed at everyday players rather than professionals.

The joke turns on golf’s hierarchy of clubs: a 1‑iron is notoriously hard to hit well, while a 7‑iron is comparatively forgiving. By saying he used a 1‑iron only to kill a tarantula—and still needed a 7‑iron—Murray implies the 1‑iron is so impractical it’s less useful than a mid-iron even for a crude, non-golf task. The line also pokes fun at masculine bravado and equipment fetishism in golf: owning (or boasting about) a difficult club doesn’t translate into effectiveness. Its lasting appeal comes from compressing a common golfer’s frustration into a vivid, absurd image.