We have a baby now at my house, all day long. And all night long. I wonder why they say you have a baby? The baby has you.

The speaker jokes about the common phrasing “we have a baby,” flipping it to capture how a newborn’s needs quickly dominate a household’s time, sleep, and routines. The humor comes from the literal-minded question—why do we say we “have” the baby?—and the punchline that parenthood feels less like possession than surrender to an all-consuming schedule. Beneath the comedy is a recognizable truth about early caregiving: the baby’s dependency reorganizes adult autonomy, making parents feel “owned” by feeding cycles, crying, and constant vigilance. The line also lightly critiques language that implies control, suggesting that in practice the relationship is defined by responsibility and attentiveness rather than mastery.