Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.

This saying circulates as a piece of folk wisdom about the social risks of personal debt. It is typically invoked in everyday situations—someone considering asking a friend for a loan, or advising another person against doing so—rather than tied to a single historical moment or identifiable speaker. The proverb reflects long-standing norms in many cultures that mixing money and friendship can strain trust, create awkward power dynamics, and leave lasting resentment if repayment is delayed or disputed. As a result, it functions as a cautionary reminder to weigh the immediate financial benefit against the potential cost to a valued relationship.

This proverb warns that borrowing from friends can carry a hidden cost: it may strain or even end the relationship. The “decision” it asks for is not merely financial but moral and social—whether immediate cash is worth the risk of awkwardness, resentment, or a shift in power dynamics. It implies that debts between friends are rarely purely transactional; repayment delays, differing expectations, or embarrassment can erode trust. The saying thus counsels prudence: seek other options first, borrow only with clear terms and a plan to repay, and recognize that preserving friendship may be the more valuable need.