Diplomacy is the art of letting someone else have your way.

Vare’s epigram treats diplomacy less as formal protocol than as psychological strategy. The “art” lies in achieving one’s preferred outcome while allowing the counterpart to feel agency, dignity, or even victory. It implies that durable agreements often depend on face-saving and narrative control: people accept outcomes more readily when they can claim ownership of the decision. The line also carries a faintly cynical edge, suggesting diplomacy can be a refined form of persuasion or manipulation—substituting tact, framing, and concession-making for blunt coercion. As a maxim, it highlights the interpersonal mechanics behind statecraft and negotiation: influence works best when it is not experienced as pressure.