The feeling that ‘no one is listening to me’ makes us want to spend time with machines that seem to care about us.

Sherry Turkle makes this point in the context of her long-running research on how digital communication and “relational” technologies (social media, smartphones, and especially social robots) reshape intimacy and attention. In her public talks and writing in the early-to-mid 2010s, she argues that many people experience chronic partial attention and a sense of being unheard in human relationships—often because others are distracted by devices. That loneliness and frustration, she suggests, can make the promise of responsive machines—devices and robots designed to simulate listening, empathy, and care—feel especially attractive, even when the “care” is only an engineered performance.

Turkle is pointing to a feedback loop between social neglect and technological attachment. When people feel unheard or emotionally unattended in human relationships, they become more receptive to devices and AI systems that offer predictable attention—responses on demand, affirmation without friction, and the simulation of care. The quote underscores her broader concern that “relational” technologies can capitalize on loneliness: they do not solve the underlying problem of being listened to by other people, but they can temporarily soothe it, potentially lowering our expectations for human reciprocity. The significance lies in reframing tech “addiction” as, in part, a symptom of unmet social needs rather than mere weakness or novelty-seeking.