When he is late for dinner and I know he must be either having an affair or lying dead in the street, I always hope he’s dead.

The line is a piece of dark, domestic humor that dramatizes jealousy and insecurity in an intimate relationship. Faced with an unexplained absence, the speaker imagines two extreme possibilities—infidelity or sudden death—and perversely “hopes” for the latter because it would be less humiliating and less emotionally complicated than betrayal. The joke works by exposing how fear of being replaced can feel worse than fear of loss, and by admitting an uncharitable thought many people would suppress. In Viorst’s characteristic comic voice, the exaggeration becomes a candid portrait of possessiveness, resentment, and the irrational calculations that can surface in long-term partnerships.