Makeup is such a weird concept. I'll wake up in the morning and look in the mirror: "Gee, I really don't look so good. Maybe if my eyelids were blue, I'd be more attractive."

Cathy Ladman is an American stand-up comedian known for observational humor about everyday life, relationships, and self-image. This line comes from her stage material in which she riffs on cultural expectations around women’s appearance and the beauty industry. Framed as an internal monologue on waking and looking in the mirror, the joke highlights the odd leap from feeling “not good enough” to believing that a small, artificial change—like blue eyelids—would solve the problem. The setup and punchline reflect the cadence of stand-up: a relatable premise followed by an exaggerated, specific image that exposes the logic of cosmetic marketing and social pressure.

The quote satirizes the irrationality of beauty standards by making the underlying thought process explicit and absurd. Ladman’s humor hinges on the mismatch between the real issue (ordinary human imperfection, morning grogginess, insecurity) and the proposed “solution” (a conspicuously unnatural cosmetic choice). By choosing “blue eyelids,” she underscores how arbitrary and culturally constructed attractiveness can be, and how quickly self-critique can be redirected into consumption. The line also works as a critique of internalized expectations: the speaker treats her face as a problem to be fixed rather than a neutral fact, revealing how normalized that mindset has become.