It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.

This remark is widely attributed to Nietzsche from his middle-period work *Menschliches, Allzumenschliches* (*Human, All Too Human*, 1878), a book of aphorisms in which he analyzes morals, social institutions, and everyday psychology in a cool, “enlightenment” tone. In that setting, Nietzsche treats marriage less as a romantic ideal than as a human arrangement that succeeds or fails depending on character, habits, and mutual understanding. The line reflects his interest in the practical conditions of companionship—how people live together over time—rather than in sentimental accounts of “love” as a sufficient foundation.

The sentence argues that marital misery usually stems less from an absence of passion than from the absence of genuine companionship. “Love” here can be read as the intoxicating, romantic force that initiates relationships but may not sustain them; “friendship” names the daily practice of understanding, equality, and shared life that makes intimacy livable over time. The implication is that a successful marriage depends on the virtues of friendship—patience, honesty, mutual admiration, and the ability to grow together—rather than on the fluctuating intensity of desire. It also critiques cultural narratives that treat love as sufficient, suggesting that friendship is the more reliable foundation for long-term partnership.

1) “It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.”
2) “Not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship makes unhappy marriages.”
3) “It is not lack of love, but lack of friendship that makes marriages unhappy.”