It is not so much our friends’ help that helps us, as the confidence of their help.

This saying is attributed to Epicurus (341–270 BCE), whose ethical philosophy centered on achieving ataraxia (tranquility) through modest pleasures, freedom from fear, and stable relationships. In Epicurean communities such as the Garden at Athens, friendship was treated as one of the greatest supports for a secure and pleasant life. The remark reflects a recurring Epicurean theme: the psychological assurance provided by friends—knowing one is not alone in need—often contributes more to peace of mind than any concrete aid actually received. The sentiment is preserved in later collections of Epicurean sayings and testimonia rather than in a single surviving treatise by Epicurus.

Epicurus distinguishes between material assistance and the emotional security that comes from trusting that help would be available if required. The quote suggests that much of human distress arises from insecurity and anticipatory fear; friendship counters this by providing confidence, which itself is calming and pleasurable. In Epicurean terms, the value of friendship is not merely instrumental (what friends can do for us) but therapeutic: it stabilizes the mind, reduces anxiety about the future, and supports a life of simple contentment. The line also implies reciprocity—being the kind of friend who can be relied upon helps create the shared confidence that sustains a community.