A Woman Is a Sometime Thing

There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I wouldn't stand for that.

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.

If a man lies to you, don't get mad; get even. I once dated a guy who waited three months into our relationship before he told me he was married. I said "Hey, don't worry about it. I used to be a man."

There's a lot to do when you have a baby. The first thing, which is taking me a really long time: I have to figure out who the father is.