It wouldn't be New Year's if I didn't have regrets.

The line treats New Year’s as a ritual of self-audit: the calendar turning prompts reflection, and reflection almost inevitably uncovers regret. Its wry tone suggests resignation rather than melodrama—regrets are framed as a predictable, even constitutive, part of the holiday’s meaning. Implicitly, the quote critiques the cultural pressure to begin anew with perfect resolve; instead, it acknowledges that endings and beginnings are emotionally mixed, and that looking back is inseparable from looking forward. The humor also functions as a coping strategy, converting remorse into a familiar refrain that can be named and endured.