If there is anything we wish to change in the child, we should first examine it and see whether it is not something that could better be changed in ourselves.

The remark encapsulates a core Jungian insight: what most irritates or worries us in others—especially in our children—often reflects unacknowledged material in ourselves. Jung’s psychology emphasizes projection and the “shadow,” the parts of the personality we disown and then perceive externally. In parenting, this means a child can become a screen for adult anxieties, unresolved conflicts, or rigid ideals. The quote urges self-scrutiny before correction: by working on one’s own attitudes, emotional reactivity, and unconscious expectations, an adult may change the relational environment that shapes the child’s behavior. It also reframes moral authority as psychological responsibility.