Love is a decision, it is a judgment, it is a promise. If love were only a feeling, there would be no basis for the promise to love each other forever. A feeling comes and it may go. How can I judge that it will stay forever, when my act does not involve judgment and decision.

Erich Fromm (1900–1980), a German-born psychoanalyst and social philosopher associated with the Frankfurt School, developed a view of love as an active human capacity rather than a passive emotion. The quotation reflects the central argument of his mid‑century work on mature love and commitment, written against a backdrop of modern consumer culture and romantic idealization, where “falling in love” is often treated as a spontaneous feeling that should sustain itself. Fromm contrasts that model with a more ethical, disciplined conception: love as an act of will that involves responsibility, knowledge, and sustained practice—especially relevant to marriage vows and long-term partnership.

Fromm argues that enduring love cannot rest on fluctuating emotion alone. Feelings are real but unstable; they rise and fall with circumstance, mood, and novelty. A promise “forever” therefore requires something sturdier: a conscious decision to care, a judgment about the beloved’s value and one’s obligations, and a commitment to act in ways that sustain the relationship. The quote reframes love as a moral and practical stance—closer to a cultivated virtue than a mere sensation. Its significance lies in challenging romantic fatalism (“if it’s real, it will just last”) and insisting that lasting intimacy depends on agency, responsibility, and ongoing choice.