Men fear women will laugh at them; women fear men will kill them.

In a 1982 lecture-turned-essay about writing male characters, Atwood recounts asking a male friend why men feel threatened by women and being told men fear women’s laughter. She then asks women students why they feel threatened by men and they answer that they fear being killed. The later, widely circulated two-line adage appears to be a condensed form derived from this passage.

The contrast highlights how men’s common anxieties in heterosexual dynamics are often framed around social humiliation, while women’s are more often shaped by the risk of physical violence. It’s used to underscore the asymmetry in stakes and lived experience between genders.

“They’re afraid women will laugh at them,” he said. … Then I asked … ‘Why do women feel threatened by men?’ “They’re afraid of being killed,” they said.

Men are afraid women will laugh at them. Women are afraid men will kill them.

At core, men are afraid women will laugh at them, while at core, women are afraid men will kill them.

We’re afraid they’ll kill us. / We’re afraid they’ll laugh at us.