Self-absorption in all its forms kills empathy, let alone compassion. When we focus on ourselves, our world contracts as our problems and preoccupations loom large. But when we focus on others, our world expands. Our own problems drift to the periphery of the mind and so seem smaller, and we increase our capacity for connection - or compassionate action.

Goleman contrasts two attentional stances: self-focused rumination versus outward attention to other people. The quote argues that empathy is not only a moral disposition but also an attentional skill: when attention is monopolized by one’s own worries, the mind has less bandwidth to register others’ feelings and needs. Turning attention outward “expands” the perceived world, relativizing personal troubles and making prosocial behavior more likely. Implicit is a practical ethic: compassion can be cultivated by training attention—interrupting self-absorption, noticing others, and acting on that awareness. The passage also links emotional well-being to connection, suggesting that empathy benefits both the recipient and the empathizer.