I went out to lunch today and ordered a Dr. Pepper. The waitress said, "We don't have Dr. Pepper; we have Mr. Pibb. It's the same thing." It's not the same thing at all. Dr. Pepper went to school an extra four years. He's much more qualified to be a soft drink. We don't even know if Mr. Pibb has a G.E.D.

The joke hinges on treating brand names as literal honorifics: “Dr.” implies advanced education and professional authority, while “Mr.” suggests an ordinary, less-credentialed person. By insisting that Dr Pepper is “more qualified to be a soft drink,” the speaker satirizes credentialism and status-signaling—how titles can irrationally influence perceived quality even when the underlying product is comparable. The punchline about Mr. Pibb possibly lacking a G.E.D. extends the absurdity, exposing how quickly people invent narratives of competence from superficial markers. It also plays on consumer loyalty and the emotional, identity-like attachments people form to familiar brands.