I was going with someone for a few years, but we broke up. It was one of those things. He wanted to get married, and I didn't want him to.

Delivered in Rudner’s signature deadpan, the line turns a familiar breakup explanation into a comic reversal. The first sentence sounds like a conventional, slightly vague account of a relationship ending; the punchline reveals the real conflict wasn’t marriage itself but control over the decision—he wanted to marry, and she didn’t want him to. The humor comes from the possessive twist and the implied independence: she refuses to be cast as someone waiting to be chosen. It also satirizes romantic narratives that treat marriage as an inevitable goal, suggesting that mismatched expectations—and who gets to set them—can be the real deal-breaker.