So I go to my first book signing, and these two girls came up and gave me a piece of paper: ’10 reasons you should date our dad. He climbed Mount Kilimanjaro. He’s a lawyer.’ He didn’t know what was going on. He didn’t even know me. They called him, and he came down and asked me out that day. Now I’m dating their dad!

[I]t is clear the future holds great opportunities. It also holds pitfalls. The trick will be to avoid the pitfalls, seize the opportunities, and get back home by six o’clock.

I bet after seeing us, George Washington would sue us for calling him "father."

Farewell, my sister, fare thee well. The elements be kind to thee, and make Thy spirits all of comfort: fare thee well.

If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these acceptance speeches there wouldn't be any inducement to go to heaven.